middle era

Things happen. Then they get slaughtered at the back of your mind and die. Then you need to move along and embrace the experience. You'll miss it, the hell you will.

And I miss him. Only two days passed by.But I need to leave, and he needs to deal with understanding how to move on.

I'm done, I Have to be.

(Untitled) 3

Independent, the strangers thought they were
Strong, they thought when they walked by
Forgettable was when they looked at our faces
We blurred in their visions and vanished in their minds
Ridiculous, they said when we spoke
Our words too vulnerable they broke when stranger heard them
Unrealistic, they replied to our dreams
"Professionalism is the skill you need"
Wisdom and credability
Is what they lacked when they were unkeen.

(Untitled) #2!

Here we are sinking deep
into the aftermath of what you and I have avoided
It's a loss and defeat
A caving world of intensity for both of us to lay in
Take a step before you leap
Catch a breath inside those phases
Grab everything they give away
Hold on to it for your own sake
So should we scream now?
'Cause there's no more hiding
We ran down the miles we could have skipped
There are no lines for us to follow
No choices for us to borrow
...

(Untitled)

As strong as a migraine
Or as painful as broken ribs
This obsession of mine won't seem to go away
I've become like a wolf whining through the night
Or a newborn clueless of the world it fights
Always depending on other people
to become someone I'm surely not
How could I have let myself slip into a journey
so far that is has gotten so lost?
How have I left my insecurities unravel me
and steal my self esteem?
My missing element has been won by a battle
Between an alter-ego and a true self-believer
Which side has taken the ultimate prize?
That, I will never know
But I know that my faith is no longer held in the palms of my hands.

Le Grand Amour De Montreal

Tonight's the flight home. How many times have I tried convincing myself that I'm not nervous before I leave? It always turns out I get nauseated when I descend from the afro-huge plane. I can't tell if I'm scared about flying, but I am scared about home. It's been a year. And all the hard work I put into forgetting all the drama and lies from the past four years will hopefully pay off. I want something to happen this time, not like last year. I want to meet someone. Go to places I've never got to visit when I was a child. It's a shame that those six years I grew up in Yemen was not in Canada, but I can't say I regret it. I learned a lot about myself, and learned a lot of wisdom. The most valuable lesson is learning that my mother's my best friend because she's the one who guided me through everything and taught me literally everything I know. She's my other half.

There's a lot of cleaning to be done before I leave tonight. I don't know how often I'll get to use the internet when I'm there, but hopefully enough to update. I've been getting up late for the past two weeks due to my tense yoga and pilates. It's hard trying to mantain yourself. It needs effort to be happy with yourself, or else you gotta embrace yourself the way you are with no complain. I don't think I can do that, and I don't know why.

I've made up my Fall Playlist for August/September. Since I wanted my vacation to be memoriable, I wanted it to have a cozy sound to it. I'll post it up when I don't have so much on my list to do. But I've been listening to a lot of Guster (Satellite), Damien Rice (The Blower's Daughter), Ben Lee (Catch my disease), Augustana (Stars and Boulevard). It's quite a different playlist to my usual stuff, but it's exciting. I got this off of the Hidden Palms' soundtrack. I'm absolutely obsessed with that show. Such a bummer that they only made 8 episodes and cancelled the show. It was definitely different than the cheezy Gossip Girl series or 90210.
But Anywho, I leave you with the Hidden Palms poster featuring the beautiful Amber Heard and eye candy "CLiff Whyte".

hello readers!

So I know at this point, no one even know that this profile exists. But in case...just IN CASE. I created this blog for you folks to check up what I've been up to: what's on my playlist, movies I'm watching, books I'm reading, eye candy I'm falling for, role models, etc. You can guess that there will be a lot of that. But for now, this is just a greeting, nothing to get your hopes high on. I hope this does you well.