Ej DiMera of my own

A person quoted a corny phrase:

"Everything I have ever wanted came to me at the worst timing. Now it figures that I might not want them anymore"

Because I thought it was such a selfish thing to say, it happened to me. Two months ago, I seemed to be steady. Now, at this rate, I'm skinning myself. I knew what I wanted five years from now, since the beginning. And someone truly loves me, and it feels like I'm about to take a 180.

I decided not to. I'm following on with the original plan. Regardless of whom it is I find myself falling in love with, I don't see myself with somebody at such a young age. I want to be a working woman and be able to support my parents once they retire. I want to travel from country to country for business meetings, no strings attached. I want to have a house in North Carolina and a loft in central of Chicago.

I watched Ej DiMera on Days of Our Lives today, for the first time since 2003. I love him to death, as stupid as it sounds. But, as eye-rolling as it sounds, I want somebody like him. A complete gentleman. Someone who knows how to charm. So once my plan is proven to me, I will hopefully meet my own Ej DiMera.

CEGEP

For since March 2010, I have struggled with what to do. I have gone back and forth, positive and confident of my decision. But obviously if I kept changing my mind, it is more than clear that I cannot make up my mind and stick with it. That means that I have not truly found my goal. That I do not LOVE what I think I absolutely love. And for the past three weeks, I finally realized that the whole plan I had set in front of me for the next six years was nothing but egotism.

This is strange timing. But, simultaneously, I am glad that I still have time to truly find out what I like. I no longer care about whether I am advanced or pass late, but I do care if I make THE WRONG CHOICE.

So with the help of black coffee and and extreme morning jogs, I know I can take all the time in the world to decide what is best for ME.

P.S: I'll be honest, Holly Madison from Holly's World inspired me :S She does that to people I guess. Maybe it was because of that calamari...

Friday Night Bluuues

Did you watch the season finale of Friday Night Lights yesterday on nbc? it broke my heart just thinking that it was the end. I almost shed a tear (sheesh, it's just TV). But I was damn GLAD to see the reunion of the old cast (Landry, Sarecson, Julie Tyler). Yup, and some big surprises :) It was sad that Minka Kelly and Scott Porter could not show up in the finale, because they were a big part of the show after all.

In the end, Tyler and his wife moved to Philadelphia :)

The Showgirl Varnish

Two weeks ago, I was at a good start. Did a lot of workouts until my calves burned like hell, ate right, I didn't study as much as I should but at least I studied, and I was happy (sorta). Now, all of that effort has crashed and burned. It's time that I do things for myself, and right now, I feel like having Doritos. I spent the whole day eating Brownies and studying the way I know myself to. Now, I'm doing things for ME, and not somebody else. I've been too selfless and generous, it's time that I own up to it.

Because of this inspiration of 'letting go' finally got to me, I decided to write down my playlist. It's nothing new, but it reminds me of the old laid-back green hay Texan farms my family and I vacationed at a few months ago.

"Arms like Boulders"- War On Drugs
"Beautiful Man"- Mason Jennings
"Boy"- Ra Ra Riot
"Can't Hardly Wait"- The Replacements
"Carry The Zero"- Built to SPill
"Currently"- Keaton Simons
"The Debtor"- Miles Benjamin Anthony Robinson (best song ever!!)
"Devil Town"- Tony Lucca
"Drown Them Out"- Viva Voce
"Gentle Moon"- Sun Kil Moon
"Girl In The War"- Josh Ritter
"Gold Lion"- Yeah Yeah Yeahs (best football break song)
"Hasn't Hit Me Yet"- Blue Rodeo (a song very close to my heart)
"Hell Yeah"- Rev Theory (for those who don't like hardcore, leave it. It's a typical college song)
"I try"- Ben Taylor
"If It's the beaches"- The Avett Brothers
"Juicy"- Better Than Ezra
"Just Lust"- Juliana Hatfield
"Last Friday Night"- Katy Perry
"Little Bit of Red"- Serena Ryder
"Moon"- The Swell Season
"New Messiah"- Dead Heart Bloom
"Oh my sweet Caroline"- Stephen Kellogg and The Sixers
"The Other Man"- Sloan (90's!)
"Revival"- Soulsavers
"Runaway"- Love and Theft
"Spilt Milk"- Matt Duke
"Stay Free"- Black Mountains (best song on the Earth!)
"Stood up"- A Fine Frenzy
"Strange Religion"- Matt Lanegan
"Summer's Kiss"- Gutter Twins
"This world will turn your way"- Tyler Hilton
"Way To Fall"- Starsailor
"Whenever we Finish"- Two Hours Traffic
"Wolf Like Me"- Tv on the Radio (oh my woooord!!!!)
"You Are the best thing"- Ray Lamontagne