Ej DiMera of my own

A person quoted a corny phrase:

"Everything I have ever wanted came to me at the worst timing. Now it figures that I might not want them anymore"

Because I thought it was such a selfish thing to say, it happened to me. Two months ago, I seemed to be steady. Now, at this rate, I'm skinning myself. I knew what I wanted five years from now, since the beginning. And someone truly loves me, and it feels like I'm about to take a 180.

I decided not to. I'm following on with the original plan. Regardless of whom it is I find myself falling in love with, I don't see myself with somebody at such a young age. I want to be a working woman and be able to support my parents once they retire. I want to travel from country to country for business meetings, no strings attached. I want to have a house in North Carolina and a loft in central of Chicago.

I watched Ej DiMera on Days of Our Lives today, for the first time since 2003. I love him to death, as stupid as it sounds. But, as eye-rolling as it sounds, I want somebody like him. A complete gentleman. Someone who knows how to charm. So once my plan is proven to me, I will hopefully meet my own Ej DiMera.

CEGEP

For since March 2010, I have struggled with what to do. I have gone back and forth, positive and confident of my decision. But obviously if I kept changing my mind, it is more than clear that I cannot make up my mind and stick with it. That means that I have not truly found my goal. That I do not LOVE what I think I absolutely love. And for the past three weeks, I finally realized that the whole plan I had set in front of me for the next six years was nothing but egotism.

This is strange timing. But, simultaneously, I am glad that I still have time to truly find out what I like. I no longer care about whether I am advanced or pass late, but I do care if I make THE WRONG CHOICE.

So with the help of black coffee and and extreme morning jogs, I know I can take all the time in the world to decide what is best for ME.

P.S: I'll be honest, Holly Madison from Holly's World inspired me :S She does that to people I guess. Maybe it was because of that calamari...

Friday Night Bluuues

Did you watch the season finale of Friday Night Lights yesterday on nbc? it broke my heart just thinking that it was the end. I almost shed a tear (sheesh, it's just TV). But I was damn GLAD to see the reunion of the old cast (Landry, Sarecson, Julie Tyler). Yup, and some big surprises :) It was sad that Minka Kelly and Scott Porter could not show up in the finale, because they were a big part of the show after all.

In the end, Tyler and his wife moved to Philadelphia :)

The Showgirl Varnish

Two weeks ago, I was at a good start. Did a lot of workouts until my calves burned like hell, ate right, I didn't study as much as I should but at least I studied, and I was happy (sorta). Now, all of that effort has crashed and burned. It's time that I do things for myself, and right now, I feel like having Doritos. I spent the whole day eating Brownies and studying the way I know myself to. Now, I'm doing things for ME, and not somebody else. I've been too selfless and generous, it's time that I own up to it.

Because of this inspiration of 'letting go' finally got to me, I decided to write down my playlist. It's nothing new, but it reminds me of the old laid-back green hay Texan farms my family and I vacationed at a few months ago.

"Arms like Boulders"- War On Drugs
"Beautiful Man"- Mason Jennings
"Boy"- Ra Ra Riot
"Can't Hardly Wait"- The Replacements
"Carry The Zero"- Built to SPill
"Currently"- Keaton Simons
"The Debtor"- Miles Benjamin Anthony Robinson (best song ever!!)
"Devil Town"- Tony Lucca
"Drown Them Out"- Viva Voce
"Gentle Moon"- Sun Kil Moon
"Girl In The War"- Josh Ritter
"Gold Lion"- Yeah Yeah Yeahs (best football break song)
"Hasn't Hit Me Yet"- Blue Rodeo (a song very close to my heart)
"Hell Yeah"- Rev Theory (for those who don't like hardcore, leave it. It's a typical college song)
"I try"- Ben Taylor
"If It's the beaches"- The Avett Brothers
"Juicy"- Better Than Ezra
"Just Lust"- Juliana Hatfield
"Last Friday Night"- Katy Perry
"Little Bit of Red"- Serena Ryder
"Moon"- The Swell Season
"New Messiah"- Dead Heart Bloom
"Oh my sweet Caroline"- Stephen Kellogg and The Sixers
"The Other Man"- Sloan (90's!)
"Revival"- Soulsavers
"Runaway"- Love and Theft
"Spilt Milk"- Matt Duke
"Stay Free"- Black Mountains (best song on the Earth!)
"Stood up"- A Fine Frenzy
"Strange Religion"- Matt Lanegan
"Summer's Kiss"- Gutter Twins
"This world will turn your way"- Tyler Hilton
"Way To Fall"- Starsailor
"Whenever we Finish"- Two Hours Traffic
"Wolf Like Me"- Tv on the Radio (oh my woooord!!!!)
"You Are the best thing"- Ray Lamontagne

1880 era actors

My mother has always been a fan of Pride and Prejudice written by the wondersome Jane Austen. When I was younger, she kept an old video type of the 1993 version of Pride and Prejudice. I never understood why she loved those sort of days because I found it so boring (of course all I cared about was Powerpuff Girls and playing in the sun!)

On a plane trip back from Canada (at least seven hours long), I decided to watch the mini series "Emma" starring one of my favorite actresses, Ramola Garai. If you don't remember her, she was in Dirty Dancing: Havana Nights and also Amazing Grace. I got so into her character, and I fell in love with the story, and the next thing you know I was searching for movies with the 1880 era. I finished reading all of Jane Austen's books and watched and I became an immediate fan. It was there when I realized I was following in my mother's very own footsteps.

It's been a while since I had the time to watch TV yet, but I just re-watched the whole mini series of "Emma" for the third time already! It's inspirational, I still can't get enough of it. I wrote this blog as a reminder, and somehow, all my favorite actors were in those 1880 era movies! It astonishes me. Ioan Gruffudd, oh lord is he marvelous!!! And then there's the great Blake Ritson, one of my favorite actors (crush celeb!).

Here's the always charming and bubbly Ioan Gruffud. You might have seen him as the lead character from the Fantastic Four. But his performance in Amazing Grace was what made him shine.



And of course, the serious and vulnerable Blake Ritson. I favored him in Mansfield Park as the love interest. But he also starred in "Emma" as Mr. Elton.



I think we can all remember Simon Woods, from movies funny role in Pride and Prejudice as Mr. Bingley, as well as his character in Penelope. He is so adorable!



But my favorite, favorite of all, in the 1880 era AND all actors, is Johnny Lee Miller! He played the most memorable character in my favorite show, Eli Stone. Also, you might have seen him in season 5 of Dexter. But, he caught my eye in Emma as Mr. Knightly...again! Oh, and he was Angelina Jolie's wife! Here is the funny social Johnny.

newest obsessions (yay!)

Birthdays and new years don't matter to me. It's commitment. How much am I willing to stick to something, and for how long. I've been in this really interesting mood that gets me loving a lot of things these days. My energy for a better workout has been really low, and all distract myself from feeling guilty. But so much has happened within the last month of last year, and I feel like I'm supposed to share this!!

JENNA FARRO!!! I'm sure everyone has read about the Josh and Zac's statement. I could have never been more proud. It puts this smile on my face for knowing that they are moving on into a better future. But I've been checking on Jenna Rice's (or Farro, whatever) blog every day! She's adorable and seems like such a sweet person. She has some of the cutest pictures with her husband posted on her own blog, and she gives me amazing inspiration to stay creative and natural.



The day I decided to watch Friday Night Lights might have been the day that saved me from all the wrong things! It's such a glorious show, and it is so real. It makes me tear up every now and then. I will confess though, that the 5th season is just stupid after they changed the entire cast. Jason Street, the wheelchair quarterback, he was a main character in the show. So was Tim Riggins, and they sent him to jail. Oh, Tim Riggins, I miss you and your foolishness. Matt Saracen, the quite new quarterback, he was such a fave. Who can forget him? And Laundry and his scandal with the girl. But most of all...Lyla Garrity!! Yes, spoiled, but wise and independant. One of the most beautiful and pure human being in this surreal series. Oh, how much i miss it.






A movie I was really looking forward to was 127 hours. Such a great film. I've never been this intrigued in my life. James Franco is one of my favorite actors, and he did the most marvelous job. The story is just so breath taking. And the look on his face when the rock fell on his arm was the most impressive and heart breaking thing. I just wanted to grab him and hug him until he felt better. It's a must see, for everybody.



Now that my parents have given me enormous amounts of money for cleaning the house, I planned what I've written down what I always wanted to buy. I'm in this Texan mood, and so, cowboy boots! Yes, leather cowboy boots. They're the best thing I would ever own. It is all I ever wanted.

Time is running short, and I will come back soon and write in a manner that is less rushing.